Tuesday, December 23, 2014

My Funniest Workout Fail Moments + A Brief Yoga Pants Comparison Guide

Someone very wise at my gym told me that wearing yoga pants is like walking around naked. Yes, indeed. This notion is both frightening and powerful depending on the day. So yoga pants have the potential to be really sexy or they can be what makes you want to run and hide out in the locker room. In fact, once I was at the gym, noticing that my yoga pants were indeed see-through and hid for a good 10 minutes in the gym to gather my courage back. This guide I hope will help you avoid that very thing from happening.

Yoga Pants Comparison


Lululemon is hands down my five star for figure flattery and functionality. While uber Pricey ($90 yoga pants) I am a believer that you get what you pay for. A fellow shopper once told me she had the same pair of Lululemon yoga pants for 16 years. I was immediately appalled and impressed. She is my mental justification every time I shop there. My booty is dedicated 100% to Lulu. They figured out where to put seams to make your rear look smoking hot. I trust their workmanship and I have never been let down. Plus the store offers free alterations on pants and tops. Their customer service is also out of this world.

Athleta - Athleta to me is like comparing a Jeep to a Porsche. Both are mighty fine vehicles to drive but one is made for manly functional rompings and one is mostly good to look at. Athleta yoga pants are great for around the house but I just don't trust them like I do Lululemon. Although, Athleta ads make me want to be rich to buy their whole store, but that's where the dream stops. Sadly, I must report failure in most pairs of their good- looking on a model yoga pants. Here's why: Every time I wear one of them I end up with Athleta assalt:

1) Sweaty butt streak down my crack- which is normal because I sweat a lot doing hot yoga and intense workouts but what I don't like is that it's visible to everyone. My butt sweat should be my business. Humph.

2) Saggy crotch. Jumping during my workouts is a given and I expect a minimal amount of downward pant-sliding, true. But Athleta gives me saggy crotch sans jumping. Now that's just rude. I don't like grabbing my pants to pull them up, it looks awkward.

3) Tight on my calfs. One Athleta pair of yoga pants requires a mini prayer every time I put them on. I am forced to ask that my Johansen-calf (monster calf muscles) will not break through the seams during a workout. Hasn't happened so far but keep my calf muscles in your thoughts.

Yoga pants to not try: Nike brand. They are made with cheap material that are heavily see-through and they never did my body any favors. Plus, the material is not made for sweat or longevity. Lululemon and Athleta nailed that part as their clothing is quick drying and their stuff lasts a long time.


Honorable mentions:  

Heard good things about Gap brand. I was told they recently changed their crotch to a new design which tends to lean toward camel toe. Ouch. So go for the old gusset. But I personally have no
experience with this brand.

Ideology- I have a pair that I wore to my first Tough Mudder and even soaked in mud, they stood the test. My biggest worry was that they would fall down with the extra weight of thick mud. However, they didn't fail me so I give them fist bumps for that. Unfortunately, they are one pair that I noticed are see-through at the gym. Just minimally but enough to make me want to wear long shirts with them.  Also, When I wore them to the gym for the first time I ran into my hubby and asked what he thought. He said, "those pants are PERFECT for a mud race." That's his nice way of saying they weren't worthy of the gym. At least he was honest, they aren't sexy, they are functional.

Biggest Workout Fail Moments so far (More to Come I'm sure!)

1st workout fail moment:  Happened when doing jumps over a barbell at my gym. I was nervous about doing this move because it requires you to make it over each jump, even when your legs are burning. I surprised myself by making the first round of 35-40 jumps then I surprised myself again when I realized my pants had fallen extremely low during the process. Like, really low. It had me walking into the corner to pull them back up & quit exposing myself. I knew when I was jumping they were falling but I had no idea how far they could go. This is where I learned an important lesson - go a size smaller if you're going to be working out like an animal. You want them tight. This is part of why yoga pants make you look naked.

Workout Fail #2:  We were doing speed tire flips where one person flips the tire & then the next person in line flips it immediately after them. We were being timed as a team. It was my turn and I was amped up and nervous that I wouldn't be able to flip it. When it was my turn, I used so much force that I blew a HUGE amount of snot, and buggers out of my nose, which rolled into my mouth. I hadn't yet flipped the tire yet though, so instead of wiping the gnarlyness away, I opted to lift on and finish the tire flip. It was sexy.

Workout Fail #3: Did a massive amount of burpees at the gym. Didn't think anything of it until I caught my reflection post workout in the locker room. Yes, my panties had bunched up like a tail and were sticking out of my workout pants. I looked like a non-sexy bunny rabbit with a black poof tail. Sometimes I think mirrors are a mistake.

Got any embarrassing moments of your own? Damn I hope so. Would LOVE to hear them!