Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Notorious B.L.O.A.T, Beat Water Retention NOW

Just now, I decided being bloated should be illegal, and if you are feeling anything like me right now (chunky) then we are both two sad little puffins. Yesterday, I was in yoga class and deliberately sat in a spot where I wouldn't have to look at myself in the mirror. That level of self loathing is no way to feel when you are being a yogi. Also, because I am going to Las Vegas (think bikini. think pool.think fun) in TWO days, I have decided to pull out the big guns and get rid of this very unnecessary (illegal) pooch.
B.L.O.A.T.E.D
B.L.O.A.T.E.D

Bloating NO MORE:
1. Drink water. This had me reaching for water immediately, read on!


  • Water aids your liver in converting fat into energy.  When you don't drink enough water, your kidney cannot eliminate fluids and needs help from your liver. Your liver is already super busy and thus helping out your kidneys, your liver becomes overworked. Then the liver doesn't get to do its primary work of converting your body fat into energy. Moral of the story is, water retention makes you bloated and fat
  • GO BIG, drinking 1-2 gallons/day. Maybe consider a milk jug companion for a bit? This works but does take a lot of effort (bringing that water cup to your face can be exhausting) and plan on many trips to the bathroom. But I promise you will feel really good when your cells are fully hydrated!

2. Seriously consider salt. This is a two part trick. First part is don't sprinkle that salt on your meals, it makes you hold onto water. The second part is take a 30 minute Epsom salt bath. Epsom salts are anti-inflammatory plus they draw out toxins, extra fluids and cellular waste.  You will need one bath tub, hot water, and 2 cups Epsom salts. The Epsom salts will pull water out of your system, and the bath will help us feel like gods and goddesses instead of chunky puffins. 
3. Eat diuretic foods. Eat real foods that are delicious! These foods have a high water content so it's a tasty way to hydrate.  I love eating foods with a purpose. These are some of the foods that would love you to stop being bloated:
  • Pineapple
  • Watermelon
  • Cucumbers
  • Leafy greens (parsley, spinach)
  • Asparagus
  • Celery

4. Drink Tea. Add tea in with your 1-2 gallons of water drinking a day and you will be peeing like a race horse (in a good way!) Two kinds of tea that I have the most experience with are both Traditional Medicinals brand, one is Dandelion root and the other is called Weightless. Dandelion root is pretty bitter (kinda gross) but good for liver support. Weightless is cranberry based but has other beneficial herbs blended in. Drink at least 3 cups of tea/day. 


4. A special rub. Found this is my Mother Earth Living magazine, something special that requires no consumption at all. A belly rub made with 2 Tbsp olive oil, equal drops peppermint, basil, lavender & ginger essential oil (just a few drops of each.) Mix together and rub a teaspoon on the belly & then apply heat from a heating pad or hot water bottle. It's relaxing and purposeful, a win-win in my book!



5. Take a water pill. Diurex is a brand they sell over-the-counter in drugstores or online here. Some might say this is cheating, but sometimes you need to slam down the hammer! Although I recently took one and I didn't notice a difference, most people report good results. Plus, I might have needed to take more doses than I did. This will essentially push water out of your system but it could throw your electrolytes out of wack so make sure it's worth the risk to you. 
Seaweed body wrap, yes please!



6. Get a seaweed body wrap! These are so much fun if you don't mind stripping down naked (sure don't!) in front of a stranger who lathers you up with green slime. One spa I went to took my measurements before and after the wrap and I literally lost inches! These aren't cheap ($75-300) but they are incredibly effective. 







Have any amazing results or recommendations about bloating? Post in comments or shoot me an email, I would love some feedback on this topic!