Stomach Flu Incentives:
- For the first time in my life I have a super power: Super Power Burps! These burps are so frightening, no one will come close.
Stand back evil-doers.
- My weekend was spent in my PJ pants. Did YOU get to do that? I even had a tiny bit of puke on my pant bottoms, but did I let that bother me...nope. I was dwelling in my jammies guilt free.
- Catching up on all your reading. 574 trips to the bathroom will do that for you, too. The gift of more leisure time
- A complete new start. Weight loss guaranteed. Those expensive detox programs have nothing on mama nature!
- Carbs on Carbs on Carbs. Eat to your hearts content because everything will be kicked out momentarily. Treat this as carbohydrate martial law.
- Clean sheets! There are perks to having vomit in your bed
I suggest you time your stomach flu wisely. Mine occurred on Halloween night. I considered it a gift from the switch witch. She took all the evil, rotten candy I ingested, twirled it around in her wicked little brew bowl and magically expelled it from my gut. Thank you switch witch. Although, I think maybe thanksgiving might have been a better choice looking back. Well, I guess any gluttonous holiday will do. Go get yours.